The Tool Shed

This weeks tool shed is a short one.
The tool or tools of the week are the dead afghanis who somehow died while protesting an alleged desecration of the Koran. Word has spread around the world that some folks at camp Xray flushed all or part of the Koran down the toilet. There were massive protests over this, misuse of the sacred book. So Allah took iyt upon himself to call home at least 15 of these tools.

The second set of tools this week are the fact checkers at NEWSWEEK.
For obvious reasons, namely the death of at least 15 tools in Afghanastan.
Way to go NEWSWEEK.

A horse of a different color, or Man, look at the size of his mule

I may be a little late on this. Who the fuck in Neil Horsley! This sick twisted religious fanatic, went on the Alan Combs show and admited to Alan, he has had sex with a mule. A fucking mule. I repeat A FUCKING MULE. What the hell is going on. It's 2005 and we can't teach evolution in schools, but fucking a mule is A-OK. The jokes are just to easy. I could go on for an hour about how I bet this guy supported bush. Or how he may have stummped for Bush. Stump Broke is more like it. This Asshole seems to think everybody in Georgia was a fucking their mules. This des not bode well for all the people in the south who want to stop us East coast eliteists from saying things like, all southerners are inbred mule fucking fanatics. I think FOX news needs to do one of their INSTA-POLLS, the pole would be Blue staters who have fucked an animal snd red staters who have fuckd an animal. I also noticed that in the last few months the RED STATES seem to have had a bump in child abduction and child sexual abuse. Florida the home state of Jeb Bush seems to have the worst problem.

Whats in your rig

This is just a little list. If you are a muscian, lousy or otherwise drop a comment about yor rig.

1990 Fender Stratocaster (Mexican) Or Mexi-Strat or as some call itr the Nafta-Strat
I have a love hate relationship with this guitar. It plays well has great action stays in tune , but for some reason I just don't love it . This is my main guitar for just jamming. This guitar is the standard blaco and white strat, like Claptons Blackie

1992 Gibson Les Paul Studio Black with gold hardware
What can I say it's a Les Paul. Though it's not the Les Paul I wanted, I got a great deal on it.

1977 Ibanez Rickenbacker 4001 copy Natural wood
This is one of the guitars Ibanez got sued over.
looks like a Rick almost sounds like a Rick.
I got this guitar in 84 on a bad trade for a vintage Gibson 2002

1959 Danelectro convertable with lipstick pickup.
Looks like the Jimmy PAge model with a sound hole.

2004 Takamine Eg530SC
This was a gift from my wife. to replace a 1984 Takamine G series.
This is currently my fave guitar

Fender Princeton Chours
Dont ask.

And an Ibanez effects that was lent to a friend and never seen again.
Morley Volume pedal

Tama Swinstar 5 peice zildjian cymbals 16 inch dark crash 18 crash 22 inch ride
2 pastie bottom high hats.

Weak Kneed and Weak Minded

Let's hear it for Republican senator, George Voinovich of Ohio.
Three Cheers for old George. Hip Hip You're weak.
What a mealy mouthed way to handle the John Bolton nomination.
If you felt strongly enough that John Bolton was not fit for the position, you sir should have said something. I can't profess to know if John is the man for the job. I have heard some thongs in the press that would lead me to believe his is a tough minded individual. On the other side of the coin, I have also read some things that would leadme to believe that he is a bully and a potential liar. But you Mr. Voinovich are in office to sort these things out. As Neil Peart said in the song Freewill, If you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice. I guess the buck does not stop on your desk sir, instead the buck slid right past you. This way when Mr. Bolton falls on his face, you can sit back and say hey I told you so. This I guess also will be your tact if John Bolton goes on to be an excellent statesman. The motto of the United States Senate should be , We the mediocre, shall defeat excellence

Caution Assholes at work

So, I'm driving to work this morning. I have a 20 mile commute, I like to listen to Howard stern or music on my ride in. This should be a time of quite reflection or a time to Jam to some tunes.
You know put in those old Cd's that you just dont get a chance to listen to anyore. The ones with great songs you couldn't live with out when you were 17. This week its Iron Maidens peice of Mind. But that is not why I am prattling on here. My reaso for Bitching this morning is, the asshole in the Ford Focus who I was forced to read all of his anti-abortion bullshit plastered on his POS car. The last thing I need on my way to work is an argument from your fucking bumper.
If you would like to argue your points, post your cell phone number on the bumper also. This way I can call you and debate the merits of your argument. But no you just want to have a one sided conversation and force your views on other people. Todays asshole had a sticker that read
"ABORTION" What part of thou shall not kill don't you understand. Ok you are free to your own opinion as to whether abortion is murder, just don't shove it down my throat. I like millions of others may not be so sure your point of view is correct. Yet I do not put it on my back bumper.
If I was so sure of all of lifes little questions, I might decide you were wrong and ram your car off the road. Maybe my bumper stickers reads: I speed up for inane arguments on peoples bumper stickers.

Relutant Support

What in Gods name does reluctant support mean. Senator Chaffe a moderate replutocrat, says he will give "reluctant support" to the embattled John Bolton. How can these men be so wishy washy? As you all may know John Bolton rose to stardom with his 1980's Grammy award for his #1 hit When a man loves a woman. I now ask you this how can our government install this man as the UN ambassador, when he did not even have the diplonmatic chops to thank Percy Sledge.

HATE!!!!!!!!!!

It used to be such a wonderful world.....
Back in the olden days, the days before T.V. and mass media you really knew who to hate.
It was so much easier before the internet. Wasn't it?
I mean back in the days of good ole Jimmy Stewart films it was so well defined.
Whites hated Blacks. Blacks hated.... Well I'm not really sure who the Blacks hated. But thats not important because they were Black. See what I mean it was easy to hate then.
Blacks were child like yet violent, and shiftless and lazy. See what I mean it was easy to hate then. Whites also hated the Jews. Jews were greedy... Greed is a good reason to hate. Jews killed Christ, another outstanding reason to hate. Jews had hook noses and ate strange foods. Another good reason to hate. Blacks also have different noses and sometimes eat strange food. they call it soul food. Christians also hated Jews. White and Black alike they hated the Jews. Usually for the same reasons the Straight Whites hated the Jews. That word straight is another reason to hate. The Straights hated the Gays. Black straights and White straights Jewish and Christian hated the Gays. See it was easy to hate back then.
There was even White on White hate. The Irish Catholics hated the English Protestants. There was Semite on Semite hate the Jews hate the Arabs, The Arabs hate the Jews. There was Black on Black hate. Lighter skin Blacks hate Darker skin Blacks. Latino on Latino hate. Mexicans hate Puerto Ricans. And so on, And so on, And so on..... But today it is harder to hate. We all hide behind political correctness. When we want to say Black we say, African American. It's always with that little lilt in the voice. That sound you make when you just smelled something bad. People can't make rash generalizations like all Blacks are lazy, All Jews are cheap.. You get the picture. There is even Asian on Asian hate. The Asians don't seem to care too much for hiding it. An obvious throw-back to the good ole days. My point is this, back in the good ole days that never existed outside of a Frank Capra movie, we were secure in who our enimies were. At least our perceived enimies. Hate really was a family value. Parents used it to keep their children in line. When Civil rights really came to the fore front in the 1950's and the 1960's whole states united against them. Even to the point of having to call in the National Gurad so a little girl could go to School.
While this was going on We had a common enemy beyond our own people. Be them Rich, Poor, Black, White, Jewish, Asian, Catholic, Protestant. We had the Russians. All hail the EVIL EMPIRE. Now we have no common enemy. The Russians are gone. China is giving us cheap big screen T.V.s and low priced DVD players, and even cheaper DVD's. Wal-Mart is selling the whole country to China. Why am I raving about hate you might ask. This is why. This morning Some douche bag set a bomb off on 3rd Street in NYC. at the British Consulate. We are told this is in some way connected to their elections today. Well 30 years we could have pointed our collective fingers at the Irish Catholics and say J'Accuse. Well the world ain't that wonderful anymore. It's sad we can no longer just fall back on our age old hates and prejudices.
It's late and I'm tired..............

As if you care.

Hey if anybody out there reads this tripe, you will be glad to know I bumped into Keith Flippin. The friend I mentioned in one of my March posts. I noticed none of you cared enough to write. Dr. Jesus AKA Keith Flippin is I am glad to report alive and well. And still living where he always lived. So if I was not such a Joik off, I could have easily swung by his house, which I might add is on my way home. Well that just shows how much of an uncaring fuck I am. Now back to bitching and ranting. By the way Doctor. if you swing by here to check out the silliness, there is a guy from the "Brooklyn Cribs" looking for you too. So drop me a line I will pass on where I found that last little tid-bit. As always it was great to see you.

The Toolshed

Take me back to dear old Blighty
This weeks toolshed opens with Lynndie England as the Tool. For obvious reasons we will bestow this honor on her. A big thumbs up to you Lynndie. Way to solidify Americas already waning star.

With friends like these who needs defense lawyers.
Or, First we kill the lawyers.
The next set of recipients of the Tool award are
Lynndie's ex lover and her law team that set forth today that Lynndie committed these Lewd (in my eyes not tortuous) and laciviuos acts because she was oxygen depraived at birth.
Bravo to the law team and Bravo to her ex lover who she very well seems to be taking the bullet for.

The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all. Ralph Waldo Emerson

And last but not least, The Tool of the week award is also bestowed upon The FOX network.
Fox the network that brings us wholesome news stories about any and all things rightwing is also the network that out of the other side of its maw deliver us the stench of all things rightwing and TABLOID TELEVISION. These scumbags have the nerve to tout it's rehashing of A CURRENT AFFAIR as "the best in tabloid television. " For that alone the marketing team at Fox should be drawn and quartered, then flung off a cliff with a Trebuchet.

Slakker

Well I missed all of the sunday morning new shows. My daughter had total control of the T.V. set. SO unless Spongebob gets a little more political I will be left in the dark.
Is it me or did the Bill Maher show suck this week end. Martin Short although a mildly funny distraction could not get a word in edgewise against the Lt. Governor of Maryland. I did glean enough off meet the press that the White House is in full lie mode over the Delay ethics thing. Andrew Card went on the show to say he did not know anybody who believed that Delay violated any ethics rules. Huh? I think what he meant was that he does not know any moderate Republicans, or Democrats of any stripe. It seems to me there are just more and more lies, and obfuscation going on. The old Byrds song:

To every thing, Spin, Spin, Spin,There is a season, Spin Spin Spin And a time to every purpose under heavenA time to be born, a Lie to dieA time to plant, a time to reapA time to kill, a time to healA time to laugh, a time to weepTo everything,Spin, Spin, Spin, There is a season, Spin Spin Spin And a time to every purpose under heavenA time to build up, a time to break downA time to dance, a time to mournA time to cast away stonesA time to gather stones togetherTo everything,Spin, Spin,Spin, There is a season, Spin, Spin, Spin, And a time to every purpose under heavenA time of love, a time of hateA time of war, a time of peaceA time you may embraceA time to refrain from embracingTo everything, Spin, Spin, Spin,There is a season, Spin, Spin, Spin, And a time to every purpose under heavenA time to gain, a time to loseA time to rend, a time to sewA time to love, a time to hateA time for peace, I swear it's not too late

My Apoligies to Roger Mcquinn.

Hell, this administration seems to have no compunction against lying. Ford used less noxious tactics for the Explorer roll over problem

Tttttttttile

I used to be a fairly well read person
I used to be happy
I used to be able to speak a sentence without cursing
I used to not have so much background noise
I used to sleep well
I used to not take medication
I used to not be angry
I used to like Burger King
I used to like McDonalds